greater mental health

Are you a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?—See & Stop Bullying

There’s a lot going on in our worlds. Sending our children back to school and adults physically heading back to offices during it all has been fraught with a mixture of relief, apprehension, fear, anger and anxiety.  In this new world where we’re doing our best amidst seemingly insurmountable circumstances, it has never been more important to stay kind, respectful, and mindful of bullying behavior – both within ourselves, and in others. Yes, we can be on both sides of bullying, and no matter what’s going on in our environment, bullying is never acceptable and it’s essential we call it out to stop it in its tracks.

While most people are navigating the known with the unknown, ever-changing circumstances and mandates with personal options for need and choice the best they can, unfortunately others are lashing out as a result of fear, anger, lack of control and other triggers, using their forum of choice to bully. Bullying can be pronounced and obvious, or subtle, much harder to recognize. Whether it’s an attempt to impose ones’ beliefs, or efforts to exclude, undermine, belittle, demean, humiliate or gain a perceived sense of control, bullying is dangerous, making early spotting of potential bullying critical to better the chances for intervention.

Often thought of as a childhood affliction exclusively reserved for school settings (commonly shown in films), bullies aren’t born—they’re made. This cycle begins for those who grow up with bullying in their homes. Whether it is directed at you or you see it happening in your home and family, you can develop a problem with knowing what is acceptable interaction and communication. Bullies also act the way they do due to a lack of parental love and recognition. Because they feel insecure, bullies abuse others to try to feel powerful. Sadly, bullying doesn’t stop once puberty is over. Many adults experience bullying of some form in their romantic relationships, families, online, in community organizations, and in their workplace.  Despite the benefit of decades for additional emotional development, adults still bully. Why? Jealousies, and the pressure to conform and control or feel powerful often play a role. Even if bullying, cruelty, rudeness, and dismissiveness seem low-key, they can have devastating consequences. Often the result of bullying, is that sometimes tragically the shamed person who is marginalized feels that the only way to retaliate is to resort to senseless violence and even mass shootings. If we can support and recognize those who are alienated, sometimes a simple act of kindness and empathy can avert tragic consequences of domestic mass shootings.

These new times bring us growth opportunities. We are all navigating decisions normally private, respect others’ choices and accept differences, whilst doing what you need to do to keep yourself and your families safe.  Life has been getting harder for many and no one needs added stress of judgment and bullying. Listen to understand differences, without prejudgment. You may not agree with someone’s perspective, and that’s OK. Humanity by nature will never all feel the same or make the same choices – that’s why they make chocolate and vanilla ice cream along with sherbet and vegan sorbet.  With all the forms of bullying clearly defined, it makes it easier to spot when we see others at its receiving end, and see when we engage in it ourselves. When you see others being bullied, do you speak up? Wouldn’t you want someone to speak up for you or your child? Bullying is often a complicated mix of pain, resentment, lack of confidence, and abusive anger.

Whether you’re a parent helping to guide and protect your kids or simply an adult experiencing bullying in any form, the best way to deal with bullies is not to get angry, scared, or flustered, as this is often what the bully desires. If you feel safe enough, assert yourself verbally and tell them to “Stop their abuse, that it is embarrassing (mostly to the bully) and to show you respect.” Try to develop as much emotional distance as you can from the bully, so that you are less adversely affected by negative emotions and can carry on with your life.

Know that you are not powerless – there are resources and tools and support to both help defend and protect yourself and loved ones as well as transform ourselves. With strength, courage and hope inherent in us all – we can move through and shift whatever comes our way. If you are a victim of bullying, seek help with trusted friends, professionals and/or the authorities to put yourself on a path to healing with support.  If we can look at everyone – including bullies – with compassion, we can gain greater insight and solutions that can help everyone.

5 Steps to Thrive the Outcome of the Election

5 Steps to Thrive the Outcome of the Election

As if 2020 couldn’t get any more challenging, we’re at the precipice of one of the most contentious elections in recent memory as a nation, with reports that the end (results) may not be in clear sight. Dealing with uncertainty, navigating disappointment and regulating emotions are essential life skills in ‘normal times’. This year, the stakes feel higher with reports of suppression, intimidation, threats and conflicting information from both sides. Ready or not, we’re being called to up-level our resilience. So what do you do if your candidate of choice doesn't win the election? You …

6 Steps to Support Your Child’s Mental Health as They Go Back to School During Covid 19

6 Steps to Support Your Child’s Mental Health as They Go Back to School During Covid 19

Back-to-school time can be stressful for parents and children of any age during the best of times. This year, the decision for children to go back to school has brought new stress and anxiety as schools announce options and parents decide on what’s best for their family. Supporting your child’s mental health as they return to school during Covid 19 will be easier with a plan. Share this with your partner, co-parent and friends with kids to help your children (and yourselves) to better navigate, cope and thrive through the unknown and all of the changes for back to school. It’s an odd time for everyone, so be easy on yourself - working from home and homeschooling isn’t easy - and remember, your child’s mental health is always more important than their grades.

Support your child’s mental health as they return to school during Covid 19with these 6 steps:

Staying Connected through Technology / Seven Days of Gratitude

Staying Connected through Technology / Seven Days of Gratitude

Recently, I have been VERY grateful for technology and social media while I stay at home. Technology has been such an integral part of our lives for so long that it can be easy to take it for granted, and we can forget that it's a luxury. I use it for work of course, but also increasingly to stay connected with family, friends and patients, and to inspire others and be inspired by others. While it's not a substitute for an in-person connection, technology has helped ease our global pivot to staying safe at home to be less painful. FaceTiming and video calls with our loved ones has never felt so important. Zoom happy hours anyone?

Open your Creativity and Let it Fly / Seven Days of Gratitude

Open your Creativity and Let it Fly / Seven Days of Gratitude

Today, I'm grateful for creativity. It feels GOOD to be creative in any form of expression and creativity provides a host of benefits that are particularly helpful in our current global moment. Did you know, pursuing creative activities can help to reduce stress and anxiety, spark healing, bring a sense of purpose and accomplishment, AND improve your mood? With our lives and routines uprooted and isolation being a way of life for the time being, creativity can be an important key in managing change and thriving through challenging times. Professionally, as a psychiatrist and analyst, I encourage creativity as a part of the therapeutic process, as it's been proven to be a powerful avenue for healing. Personally, I enjoy creative writing

Back to Basics, with a Smile / Seven Days of Gratitude

Back to Basics, with a Smile / Seven Days of Gratitude

Today, I'm grateful to get back-to-basics exercising. We've all been deprived of our normal routines. With all of the rain we've been getting on the east coast, I'm relegated to working out at home to maintain my emotional, mental and physical well-being. I know that if we need an excuse we'll find one, and that cardio is possible in studio apartments and bedrooms - dancing or jumping jacks anyone? When I started training for Ironmans a decade ago, I didn't have a gym membership. The streets were my gym. So I returned to my fitness roots using an approach that marries MacGyver with a can-do attitude. Got a couch?

Coping with Coronavirus

Coping with Coronavirus

The outbreak of Coronavirus can be stressful. Fear about an invisible enemy can cause fear, anxiety, and panic. Coping with stress makes you stronger and helps those around you to be calmer. Those with preexisting mental health conditions need to continue their medication and treatment. Be aware of new or worsening symptoms. We are all in this together, and if we look at the positive, it will bring us closer and more connected. Here are 10 tips to reduce stress and anxiety:

Promoting Greater Mental Health: Everyone’s Responsibility

Promoting Greater Mental Health: Everyone’s Responsibility

Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. We all grew up on the giving and receiving end of that plea that carried with it a great burden and fear – holders of a secret, or worse, a code of silence.

For decades, unwritten codes of silence plagued the military, police force, politics, corporate cultures and even families, causing unnecessary suffering and injustice. Staying quiet and silence ran deep in our collective consciousness.

4 Surprising Benefits of Regular Exercise

4 Surprising Benefits of Regular Exercise

Most people associate exercise and its necessity with physical well-being and maintaining a healthy weight.  And while that’s true, there’s also great benefit for mental health through exercise. I have many patients who I have encouraged to exercise regularly and change their diet which has reduced their depression, stress, anxiety, as well as alleviate high blood pressure, diabetes and high blood cholesterol.